2011, first week of January, and I find myself back at school. My holiday* disappeared as abruptly as it arrived, no doubt evaporating and serving as the cause of Auckland's famed humidity, and I'm back at the grindstone as a working Uni student seeking to better himself and prepare himself for more profitable employment. Summer School is a peculiar experience, and working every day while studying, and therefore needing to wear formal black trousers around campus in the height of Summer, may wear thin pretty fast. But at least nothing clashes with the Big Day Out. If it had, I'd be forced to choke a bitch.
*Holiday: That period of time where university doesn't get in the way of my manager's desire to have me spend every waking hour at work
So today was my second day back. Due to the electrification of the Auckland rail network, 'rail bus' services have replaced the more direct and more frequent train service. I've had the pleasure of travelling via rail bus on three occasions thus far, and it turns out they're less magic bus and more tragic bus.
Lost in Space: A Two-Hour Odyssey
To Boldly Go where the Bus Driver had Never Gone Before
Today was quite entertaining, provided you're entertained by profound incompetence. It became readily apparent less than five minutes into our trip that our driver had not a clue of what he was doing. Here is a visual aid to put everything into perspective
Our driver was to travel from Papakura to Auckland City. He decided this would be best achieved via Drury. To be explicit, Auckland is North, Drury is South. After this point, the driver missed the entrance to the rather large and obvious Manurewa transport hub... and decided to reverse back to it on a very busy street. After leaving the Manurewa pick-up, our driver took a right turn a street before he was supposed to, turning into the Russell Ave Reserve, driving the wrong way on a one-way street for good measure. However, I did learn of the existence of a flying-fox/zipline there, and immediately questioned whether I should be going to school at all today. Having corrected his error and returning to the main road, our driver drove past the street he was intending, with the very large and obvious bridge over the railway lines, in order to turn into a tiny, dingy little lane immediately following his intended turn. By this point our ticket collector was playing navigator to an obviously lost and distraught bus driver. How he actually managed to find his way to Papakura in the first place will forever remain a constant, nagging mystery to me.
Papakura is roughly half an hour, generously 45 minutes from Auckland City, by car. By train, with frequent stops, it is just shy of a full hour of travel. I gave myself two hours to get to Uni via rail-bus. I arrived for class five minutes late.
This looks promising.
A Bad Sign
The return journey was much quicker, as our driver knew pretty much where she was going. Unfortunately, where she was going was occupied by a roundabout and a large metal Keep Left sign, that she demolished in a screeching cacophony that sounded like Megatron forcefully loving the Wall Street Bull. There was a peculiar noise coming from the wheel that had made the most contact with the sign all the way home, and the ride had a more rough and shuddering quality to it after that little incident.
Next week I'm expecting either suicide bombers, or Mexican hijackers. Either that or the bus will be full of Law students, and immediately crash into Auckland harbour so Arts students can call it 'A good start'.
More misadventures as they occur!
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